Leading Through Mistakes: Why Repair Builds Stronger Teams

Leading Through Mistakes – Why Repair is the Real Management Superpower

I’ve been reflecting on something we rarely admit openly: leadership is messy. No matter how experienced or thoughtful we are, mistakes are inevitable. These aren’t always catastrophic failures — most often, they’re the small but significant missteps. Forgetting a commitment. Giving feedback that deflates instead of develops. Overcommitting the team without asking for input. Losing patience at the wrong time.

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For a long time, I assumed the best leaders were the ones who made the fewest mistakes. But I’ve since realized that leadership isn’t about mistake avoidance — that’s impossible. It’s about what happens next. Do we ignore it? Justify it? Or do we acknowledge it, learn from it, and repair the relationship?

This question led me to an idea that, surprisingly, I found in a parenting book.

The Lesson from Parenting – Repair Over Perfection

In Dr. Becky Kennedy’s book Good Inside, she introduces the concept of “repair.” She explains that the most important parenting skill isn’t perfection — it’s the ability to go back after a mistake, acknowledge it, and reconnect.

And when I read this, I couldn’t help but think: isn’t this exactly what leadership demands too?

The managers we respect aren’t those who never slip. They’re the ones who admit when they’ve mishandled something. They don’t hide behind vague statements like “things could have gone better.” Instead, they own up, saying, “I should have handled that conversation differently, and I’m sorry for the impact.” That level of honesty changes everything.

Research backs this up. Teams thrive in environments where mistakes are acknowledged and addressed, because it builds psychological safety — the sense that people can speak up, experiment, and even fail without fear of punishment. And the practical tool for building that safety is repair.

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What Repair Really Looks Like in Practice

So how do we actually practice repair as managers? It’s not about empty apologies or moving on quickly. Repair has a few clear elements:

• Be specific. Saying “mistakes were made” doesn’t help anyone. Instead: “I cut you off in that meeting three times and dismissed your point. That was wrong.”

• Take ownership. Don’t explain away your actions with excuses. The focus isn’t your stress levels; it’s the impact your actions had.

• Acknowledge the impact. Go beyond the action itself and recognize how it affected the other person or team.

• Commit to change. Without behavior change, repair is hollow. Consistency is what restores trust.

• Allow time. One conversation doesn’t heal everything. Repair is a process, not a single event.

Notice how repair shifts the focus: it’s not about managing appearances, it’s about rebuilding trust.

Why Repair Strengthens Teams

Here’s the counterintuitive part: once we embrace repair, we actually become less fearful of mistakes. Knowing that mistakes aren’t the end of the story frees us to take thoughtful risks, make timely decisions, and engage in difficult conversations.

When leaders model repair, it sends a clear signal: failure is survivable, and accountability is expected. This changes the entire team culture. People stop hiding errors, stop resenting unacknowledged harms, and instead lean into collaboration. In fact, organizational studies show that teams with leaders who admit mistakes and repair quickly have:

• Higher engagement levels

• Stronger collaboration

• Lower turnover rates

• More creative problem-solving

On the flip side, leaders who deny or deflect blame often preside over cultures where resentment simmers quietly until high performers leave. Repair, then, isn’t just about soft skills — it’s a strategic tool for retention and performance.

The Bigger Picture – Cracks Let the Light In

I return often to Leonard Cohen’s line: “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” Leadership is full of cracks — the human flaws and the unpolished edges. But those cracks don’t have to be signs of weakness. They can be openings for trust, growth, and deeper connection.

Our role as managers isn’t to achieve flawless perfection. It’s to create environments where teams can thrive, grow, and deliver meaningful work. Inevitably, we’ll stumble along the way. But repair is how we transform those stumbles into opportunities.

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So, the next time something goes wrong — and it will — let’s resist the urge to cover it up or explain it away. Let’s instead lean into repair: being specific, taking ownership, focusing on impact, changing our behavior, and giving trust the time it needs to heal.

Because leadership isn’t about never cracking under pressure. It’s about letting the light in — again and again.

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